Class of 2014 Senior Spokesmodels!~ Colorado Springs Senior Photographer

I am SO excited about my Senior Spokesmodels for the Class of 2014 .  They are the cutest girls who are just as amazing on the inside as they are on the outside.  Not to mention TOUGH!  On our shoot the weather did NOT cooperate with us.  It rained a little.  It snowed a little.  The wind was blowing at least 95 mph (ok, that may be a slight exaggeration ;)).  It.  Was.  Freezing.  While I did my part in buying them all a Starbucks, I felt so dang bad for them while watching them dressed for spring in what turned out to be the dead of winter.  Here is a highlight of the evening.  The rest are still under construction but I wanted to give the girls at least a little teaser!  Over the next few weeks they will each be getting their very own blog post but fornow this will have to do.   So, without further aedui....  

Nellie and Justin~ Gilbert Arizona Love Photographer

Nellie is seriously the coolest.  We have a blast together.  She is one of Bryan's youngest sisters so when she told us that she was getting married we all told her that 12 year olds were NOT allowed to get married.  Turns out she's NOT 12 anymore.  (I shed a tear or two over that one...)   We aren't even going to discuss how long ago they got married.  Life got busy.  Summer happened.  (Yeah... that long ago.) She married an amazing Samoan man who we all adore.  I have a special place for the Samoan culture that dates back to my days spent in New Zealand.  (Don't even get me started on that country... I love it so much!)  As I have mentioned before, I am not a wedding photographer.  I did some pictures of Nellie and Justin in their wedding attire and had a lot of fun.  Newlyweds are the best because they can do googly eyes at each other for hours on end.  :)

Side Note:  They got married so long ago that Nellie is now pregnant with a cute BIG baby girl.  Can't wait to meet her in a few months!

Melissa~ Colorado Springs Senior Photographer

Way back when... Seriously it's been MONTHS, I was lucky enough to take this cutie's senior picutres.  She's only a few months from graduating right now and I gotta say, I'm kind of bummed.  She's super cool.  She's a great babysitter.  She's an amazing example to those around her.  She's just Melissa.  I had a lot of fun taking pictures of her and getting that *real* smile to come out.  (I'm not a fan of the fake grins. ;))

Two Whole Years~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

I'm back!  I know... can you even believe it?  It's been a LONG time coming but my new website and blog are up and going without a million bugs and WITH my old blogs.  I can't believe how hard it was to get everything back to how I wanted it.  (That's a whole other story I won't go into right now...)

Anyways, it's great timing because today is Carter's TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!  I canNOT believe that it's been TWO entire years since  I got this horrific phone call.  It all seems like a dream now.  It seems like it happened yesterday and like it happened a lifetime ago at the same time.  Our lives have changed so drastically.  It's been two entire years since I have gone to sleep NOT worrying about my son's health.  It's been two entire years since Bryan and I have NOT talked about childhood cancer.  It's been two entire years since we haven't had daily concern about how this is affecting our daughters.  It's been two entire years since we took our little, tiny seemingly healthy boy into the hospital thinking about how on earth we were going to explain to him that he had cancer... and wondering how much detail to give him, not sure if he would grow up to tell people about his experience.

I can say, without a shadow of a doubt that our family is stronger because of what we have been through.  We rely heavily on each other (we rely even on the girls, believe it or not).  We rely more heavily on faith.  Without our knowledge of eternal families and angels and prayer, I think I'd be much more of a wreck than I currently am.

There are still days (frequently) that I cry because of what Carter is going through.  I don't know that it will ever get "easy".  Most of the time we are use to what we are going through.  Sometimes, we are even grateful.  And always we are at peace with it.

In the past year Carter has been hospitalized three times.  (One time we were on vacation in Utah!!)  He has had countless shots, tons of X-Rays, several Priesthood blessings (including one from President Uchtdorf!!), had his chemo held more than I like to think about, had numerous G.I. issues, had a bit of a rough summer, and has struggled through Maintenance, when most children thrive.

But, all that being said, he is doing great.  His attitude is amazing.  He deals with his lot with maturity and peace.  He loves going to chemo and never complains about taking his nightly oral chemo.  We are all use to his steroid cheeks and the ever changing side-affects.  We thank our Father in Heaven every day for our health, including Carter's, because as I have said a million times before, it could be SO much worse.  He WILL beat this.  Next May I will write a post that is titled "Carter is Officially Cancer Free!!" and I CANNOT wait for that day to come!  He's such a fighter and God truly chose wisely when he gave him this trial.

Seems only appropriate that he got to spend the day down at the clinic getting his big monthly dose of chemo today, on his two year mark.  We took the kids to breakfast to celebrate and tonight we will have spaghetti and donuts, as he has requested.  :)

Our Boy ~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

Carter is one of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life.  When I think about how lucky we are to call him his parents I just nearly pee my pants!  He's so brave.  He has gone through more in the last 17 months than I have been through my entire life.  He truly takes things like a man.  I VERY rarely see him get frustrated or down about his lot in life.  He's optimistic.  He's brilliant.  He's so darn cute without those front teeth.  He knows he's not s physically able as his friends to do things but tries to keep things in perspective. ("I know someday I will be able to ride my bike and play sports.")

Sometimes I watch what he goes through and I cry with him or for him.  Watching him struggle breaks my heart.  Not being able to take it away from him breaks it even more.  He is mature beyond his years (I'm sure I will need to be reminded of this when he's a crazy teenager) and an absolute joy to have him around.  I can't image our lives any other way than the way they are now.

Those steroid cheeks are a way of life for him.  They will eventually (in over two years) go back to normal.  When I see pictures of him like this it doesn't even look like him.  But his smile is still Carter's smile and his eyes still twinkle like they always have.

This is my Glimpses 52 Image for the week for Chic Critique  Forum.

Pine Creek Cheerleaders~ Colorado Springs Senior Photographer

These girls were seriously so darling.  They are the Varsity Squad at Pine Creek High School.  This is a first for me... 20+ girls that are all super cute and very cooperative.  I really had a lot of fun with them.  We have already promised their captain that we will be up at State watching them compete and cheering them on.

There are more over on facebook so head over and check them out.  This is my Chic Critique Glimpses 52 post for the week.

I Can't Believe She's THREE!!~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

This little girl keeps me on my toes.  That's not a secret.  But she is an amazing little person.  She's bright.  She's REALLY funny.  She's insanely independent (Bryan likes to use the word "driven").  She's clever.  She's got some serious spice.  She's strangely strong.  And she's ours for eternity.  Even though she has two more years before she leaves for kindergarten I am already dreading the day she skips off to her classroom, lunchbox in hand, leaving her mom to do the ugly cry in the hallway.  I never want that day to come. I am having these pictures be my Glimpses 52 Project submission for the week for Chic Critique.

Just One More~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

Why not post one more picture.  She's so cute!

My Little Miss~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

I am the slackerest slacker ever!  It's been WAAAAAAY too long since I've blogged.... why?  Because I'm lame... and busy...  and I have three kids... at home... because it's summer... so I'm busy... and we've been vacationing.... but mostly because I'm super lame.

This is my Chic Critique Glimpses 52 image for the week.  First one I've done for WELL over a month... so embarrassing.  But I HAVE been taking pictures.  Does that make the fact that I've been M.I.A. any better?

Exploring~ Pikes Peak Children Photographer

It seems like every time my parents come up it's because something major has happened  (and I don't mean that in a good way). They don't get to come up "just because" all that often and when they do it's only for a few days.  I prefer their visits to be a week long... or longer.  :)  This time was close: 5 days.  Hey!  We'll take it! We spent Memorial Day up in the mountains exploring and getting some beautiful fresh air.  I think spending the day in the mountains with Bryan and my kids (and any other family that may be in town) is probably my most favorite thing to do.  It always feels like we are completely alone... like we have an entire world to discover.  This day was no exception.

This is my Glimpses 52 Chic Critique submission for the week... just barely squeaked it in!

Denver Butterfly Pavilion~ Denver Nature Photographer

Yesterday we took the kids to the Butterfly Pavilion in Denver.  It was really cool!  We had heard from a lot of people that it was worth going to and they were right!  The kids loved it.   They had more than just butterflies as you can see above.  They have a tarantula named Rosie that you can hold if you are one of the courageous folk.  I'm not.  :)  Then, if you are REALLY psychotic, you can even hold a huge roach.  SERIOUSLY!?!?  I wonder how many people actually do that.  I'd rather get a root canal.  Not kidding.

There were some beautiful butterflies that fluttered all around you (kind of alarming at times).  The kids were in complete awe.  (These butterfly pictures haven't been edited at all.  And I have tons more... just posting only a few since you probably don't care all that much.)

After we saw all the animals we went on the "Nature Walk" outside.  It was about 1/3 of a mile and had some cool birds as well as TONS of groundhogs!  I've never seen a groundhog before but these guys had a MAZE of tunnels they would pop out of. They were so cute!  (Although I'm glad they aren't doing that to my front yard.)  There were adult ones as well as baby ones.

This is my Chic Critique Forum Glimpses 52 submission for the week.

Sunday Drive~ Colorado Springs Nature Photographer

We love to take Sunday drives.  Correction:  Bryan and I love taking Sunday drives.  The kids merely put up with it.  We always explore different parts of Colorado Springs and the surrounding areas.  Sometimes we go out looking for something specific (a camp ground or a national park).  Other times we just head out and see where we end up... and it's always somewhere beautiful!  As I have mentioned at least a thousand times, we love love love living in Colorado.  It's not really anywhere we truly thought we would end up raising our family but it's such a wonderful place with beauty everywhere you turn.  Here are a few pictures from our drive this week.  (I actually took my camera this time!!)

This is my Chic Critique Glimpses 52 post for the week.

Dirt~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

Noelle and Ryan~ Gilbert Wedding Photographer

Noelle.  Wow.  Where to start.  She's amazing.  She's one of my baby sisters (by marriage... but who's counting).  I ADORE her.  We have had so much fun together over the past 10 years and watching her grow from a little girl to a perfect woman has been something I wouldn't have missed for the world.  I couldn't narrow it down so here's a TON of pictures from their shoot (at high noon might I add... poor girl was boiling in her dress).  Their wedding was amazing and wonderful and amazing... and wonderful... and amazing... :)

Karate Kid~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

A few months ago we put Carter into Kenpo Karate.  He's be interested in Karate (what little boy isn't) forever!  We opted for things like soccer and basketball to encourage all different kinds of sports.  Since he's been sick and has little to no energy, we thought karate would be a good way to strengthen his leg muscles and get him into some sort of sport.  He's really loving it and it's offered at our community center by a 3rd degree black belt. His teacher's name is Miss Natalie and she's great with Carter and the other little boy in the class.  We practice during the week and after a few months of lessons and practicing he was ready to test for his yellow belt.

He did great and got his yellow belt.  Addilyn has also decided that karate would be much more fun than dance and has opted to quit dance and start karate next month once she turns 5.  I'm excited for her.  Here's hoping that she'll get good enough to fight all those boys off in a few ( like 25) years!

The most rewarding thing for me is to see him getting stronger.  He's still MUCH weaker than the other kid in his class (who is a year younger than him) but most of his weakness is in his legs, and karate is a lot of leg work.  So, any improvement is great.  He's doing so amazing, and, as always, we are so stinking proud of him!

This is my Glimpses 52 Project picture for Chic Critique this week.

Mondays and an Expodisc~ Colorado Springs Photographer

A while back I invested in something called an Expodisc.  I had heard great things about it and it was relatively inexpensive (as far as photography investments go).  I tried to get use to it, got a little overwhelmed and confused, and ultimately, gave up. Didn't your mom (or someone who knew what they were talking about) ever tell you to NEVER give up?  Well, recently while on Chic Critique Forum, (this is my Glimpses 52 image for the week) someone was talking about their Expodisc.  It put a little bur under my saddle so I'm trying to get the hang of it again.  Potentially, it could save me tons of time!  IF (fat "if") I get use to it and use it all the time my white balance would always be spot on and I wouldn't have to change it in Photoshop.

So, here's my experimenting tonight:

This picture is just having my white balance on Auto (AWB).  If you look at the things that are suppose to be white, it's clear to see that the color is completely off.  (For example, the word "Shield" is white in real life.)

Side note:  We are NOT giving Carter the drug "meth".  He takes a medication called Methotrexate... but occasionally, joking around, we say he's a meth head.  :)

At that point I tried to use the Expodisc.  I had the exposure correct for the meds (or whatever the subject may be), held the Expodisc up against the lens of my camera, and took a picture.  It was mostly black.  I went into my camera settings, changed the white balance to "Custom" and set the custom white balance on that picture that I had just taken that was mostly black.  Then I snapped another picture of the meds.  This is what I got.

Ummm... a swing and a miss.  Wow.  I would say this picture's just a LITTLE green.  :)  Next attempt was to put the Expodisc back on and take another picture (leaving the exposure the same) of the light source.  In this case, that was the Tungsten pendent lights above the meds.  This is what my picture WITH the Expodisc looked like.

This is SUPER green.  I'm sure it's because I had just totally screwed up my custom white balance a second before.  I then set this picture above as my new Custom White Balance setting, and tried once again to take a picture of the meds.  This is what I got.

It's perfect!  This image is straight off the camera.  Nothing has been done to it.  I feel like I can handle the Expodisc indoors... now to conquer handling it in back lit shade lighting...  :)

Next, about the pictures.  Carter is on tons of meds.  (Duh.)  Monday nights are his big night.  He has 2-3 different kinds of medications depending on the Monday night we are dealing with.  He has at least 8 pills (upwards of 10 on occasion).  If he's awake he takes them fine.  If he's sleeping?  Well, that's a different story.  He is SOOOOOOOO  (SO!) hard to wake up.  It takes us several minutes to wake him up.  Often times it involves removing any and all covers, turning on his light, using loud voices, splashing him with water, sitting him up... you name it, we've tried it.  Once we have him sitting we reach for the meds and turn around to find him snuggled up again on his pillow.  So, next time we hold his arm while reaching for the meds and water.  He will take a sip of water and lay back down, assuming he has taken his pills.  We finally recorded it (because he absolutely does NOT believe us in the morning when we tell him how silly he was being) so he could see himself.  He laughed the entire way through it.

He's seriously such a trooper... especially after weeks like this past one.  It was one of the hardest we have had and it's not letting up a whole lot.  He's finally making it through an entire day of school today (an hour and a half to go!).  Something he hasn't done for over a week.  Poor guy.  Two years and one month to go... but who's counting.

Love Notes~ Colorado Springs Photographer

What mama in the world doesn't love a little Love Note from their little ones?  (I see no one has raised her hand...)  Moms love notes.  They love ones that are just scribbles when our babies are just wee ones.  We love ones that are full of misspellings when they are learning to write.  Even though I'm not there yet, I'm sure I'll love ones when they are off at college and missions.  And, while I have quite some time before this one, I'm sure I'll love ones when they are married and parents themselves stating that I WAS right all those years ago when they thought I was a complete buffoon.  :) This love note is special.  It's written on the back of a note pad.  You know when you use all the paper and there's just that piece of  cardboard on the back of it that you just chuck?  Except this one isn't garbage.  Carter wrote us this note and set it on our bathroom counter about a week before he was diagnosed.  As bad as it is to admit, I wasn't planning on keeping it.  I hadn't gotten around to throwing it away when we were faced with our son maybe not living a full, long, healthy life.  At that moment, that little piece of garbage became one of my most prized possessions.  It's been on my mirror since then and every day it makes me smile and thank our Lord for letting us fight this fight.  

Side note: the note above that is a VERY sweet card from my bestest friend.  She's amazing and has had a rough go the past few months.  I heart her and I'll keep her note forever and ever along with Carter's.

Chic Critique Forum Glimpses 52 picture for the week.

Sneak Peek~ Phoenix Wedding Photographer

As mentioned before, I am NOT (N.O.T.) a wedding photographer.  I just don't have it in me.  It's not my passion.  If I could spend every day of my life shooting Seniors and Hot Mamas, I would be one happy lady.  That being said, while I was in Arizonafor the past few weeks I got to take pictures of not one but TWO brides.  Both brides are Bryan's sisters.  It was seriously SOOOOO much fun!  I have a lot of really cute pictures but haven't edited a ton yet so here's just one.  :)

This is also my Glimpses 52 picture of this week for Chic Critique.  While I normally do a snapshot from my daily life, this one is special.  Noelle is part of my life, and now, so is her sweetie.  We can't wait to get to know him!!!  He's seriously one lucky guy.  Noelle is A.MA.ZING.  LOTS more pictures to come!

A Year In~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

One Year.  It's been an entire year since we took our sweet little tired 5 year old to the hospital.  An entire year since we were told by a doctor, who we would grow very close to very quickly, that we would get use to our "new normal".  An entire year since we had to call family and close friends and tell them of the battle we had ahead.  An entire year since I spent hour after hour sobbing and searching for faith, relying on everything I had been taught since a baby.  An entire year since we had to explain to Carter that a good part of his childhood would be filled with hospital visits, pokes in the port (oh- had to explain to him what that was-- after it was explained to us), pokes in the arm, pokes in the finger.  An entire year since I started giving myself internal pep talks, reminding myself that I CAN do this and I'll do it with a smile on my face, dang it!  (At least in public. :))  An entire year since we were faced with the realization that we would have to FIGHT to keep our son alive. And what a year it has been!!!  I would like to say that the biggest thing we have learned over the course of the last 365 day (or is is 366 days since it's leap year?) are facts about Leukemia.  Don't get me wrong; I've learned more about Leukemia than I EVER thought I would know.  But we have also learned so so SO much more.

~We have learned how to lean on each other.

~We have learned to rely on God and exercise our faith.

~We have learned that it's ok to be served (this was a hard one for me... I think all us mommies want to be Super-Moms).

~We've learned that we can drive to the hospital with our eyes closed (don't worry... we don't do it... just sayin' we could if we wanted to).

~We have learned how to unaccess his port at home.

~We have learned how to give him chemotheropy through his port on more than one occasion.

~We have been to the ER 4 times.... or is it 5?  We have taken advantage of having a radiologist as a neighbor in order to get discharged from the hospital faster.  (Don't look at me like that!  You would too if you were a frequent flier over there.  And he doesn't mind!)  *** Tangent Coming*** The most recent time into the ER is right now.  Carter woke up with  fever of 104 so off we went.  (It was Bryan's turn.  I took the girls to church.)  Don't worry, they are on their way home right now. They think it was just a random virus that in a normal person would have passed without even being noticed.

~Carter has been poked (this is a guess on the low end) at LEAST 75 times between the port, arm, and finger.  (Usually arm or port.)  (Bryan thinks it's closer to 100.)

~We have learned that we are loved by so many people.  We have people follow his story that don't know him or us all that well.  We are prayed for by people everywhere.  Nothing warms my heart like hearing my friends tell me that their little ones pray for Carter.  So sweet!

~We have learned that PRAYERS ARE HEARD!  They are answered.  We have a very loving Father in Heaven that is healing our son.  I am not taking credit away from science.  For the first time in my life I actually APPRECIATE science. (I stand corrected to my 16 year old self who hated science more than words.)  But, at the end of the day, God decides.  The ball is in HIS court.  If he wants our baby to live, he will (and he WILL!).  If it's his time to go home (it's NOT!) then that's what is going to happen at the end of all this.

We have grown closer to close friends, gained an entire new circle of friends at the Pediatric Oncology Clinic, and cried more than one time to our moms.  (Ok, I've done the crying... to both moms... :))  We have grown to love Dr. Cook and Dr. Reaves so very much for the interest that have taken in this journey we are taking as a family and the unconditional love they have shown Carter... and the patience they have shown me. :)  Our family is closer than it was a year ago.  Our marriage is stronger than it was a year ago (and it was already pretty awesome, all thanks to Bryan).  We hug our babies tighter.  We tease Carter about how we are going to poke his port.  We tease Addilyn about how we should shave her head like  Carter's (was) so they look more alike.  We have planned our super awesome Make-A-Wish trip (first week of this December!!!).  We have witnessed the merciful hand of God.  We think it's funny that our two year old knows that "Cawter at chemo."  We are the proud owners of a DS (SWORE I'd never let my kids have one) that Carter can only play at chemo.

In short (who am I kidding?  This post is anything but short) it has been quite a year.  And we have survived it!  That in itself is something to be proud of.  We are use to our new life.  We enjoy our time together.  We have adjusted and are loving our lives.  We thank our Father in Heaven daily for the health that we have and for how well Carter is handling this.  We are thankful that THIS is our trial and not something else.  There are so many things that could have happened that I don't think I could have survived.  (Although I don't think I would have said we could have survived this.)

We love our life!  We love our battle and we love our Savior, Father in Heaven, and guardian angels (oh yes, they DO exist!!) for helping us face this day after day.  Carter is the toughest little guy around. He tougher than any football player in the world in my book!

Side Note:  I had big plans to take some pictures of Carter today playing Legos and being a "normal" little boy... but plans changed.  So, we have pictures of him passed out on my bed because as he declared to Bryan on the way home from the hospital, "Dad, I'm gunna find the first soft thing I come to when I get inside and take a nap!"

This is my Glimpses 52 Project for this week for Chic Critique Forum.

The Middle Child~ Colorado Springs Children Photographer

This child.  Where do I even begin?  She's an angel.  She's the sweetest thing ever.  She is so caring and compassionate with just the right touch of sass.  I wish I could clone her a hundred times over and pass her out to friends and family for Christmas presents.  We are so very lucky to have her be part of our eternal family.  Don't you just want to kiss her face off?  (Katie Brown!)  Because I do.  In fact, I'm going to.  Right now.

This is my Chic Critique Forum post for this week's Glimpses 52 Project.  LOVE that place.  Have you seen their new magazine?  It's SO awesome!!!